Open letter to the 1998 Ford Contour sitting in my driveway

Dear car,
Dad cleaned you, posted you on craigslist, then fell in love with you again because you were so clean. Someone wanted to buy you, but Dad turned down the money just to be with you. You are very special to him, and you are a sentimental part of the family, but I have to tell you how I feel about your place here.
You have competition. The Van goes on long trips, the Sonata goes on errands, and the new BMW goes to church and other fancy places. You sit in the driveway, often stubbornly blocking the other cars, and you rust.
You have to acknowledge this. You do have endearing qualities, but you need to be aware of your character when compared to the other cars. I am not trying to hurt you, I just want to prevent future heartbreak by blurting out the truth in advance.
You are valued by Dad because of the cat-like purr you sing when he drives you. You have been his loyal companion through the years, never breaking down completely, even in harsh conditions. You cooperate when Mom drives, but in all honesty we both know that you work better with Dad. I know that you'd rather not talk about our recent drives together, but I have to tell, or else we'll never get better.
I'm not used to a stick shift like you. Multitasking, watching the road, the rpm's, and the spedometer, while feeling the clutch and the right gear, does not come naturally to me. I apologize for the times when I drove you with the parking brake on. And the times when I killed your engine (not on purpose). And I apologize for the embarassment I caused you when the light turned green and my skills failed to get you up that little bump before the intersection. If you meet the cars that were waiting behind us, it would be o.k. if you blamed it on me.
While I recognize that I'm often at fault, you aren't exactly helpful. The rusty polka-dots on your roof are embarassing, your rusty door hinges sound like a dying duck when opened too far, and your non-aerodynamic figure is old fashioned.Even though black is a timeless color, it doesn't hide rust well. On the inside, your left turn blinker signal clicks unnaturally fast, and reminds me of a cartoon time-bomb. The little section of your ceiling that has the light and sunglasses holder is falling out. Your suspension might be described as non-existent. Your gas mileage might be average if you were drafting a semi (which Dad did, but with the Van, sorry to break it to you).
Your future at our house is not over, however! It is impossible not to overhear David as he begs Dad to surrender you into his service. Hauling around unicycles, ramps, and plywood is not what you are used to, but you will come to enjoy it in time. David hasn't even been through driver's ed yet, so you'll get to spend more time with Dad before you're handed down.
Wishing you the brightest future possible, Kaitlin

On being a writer (?)

Of course being a writer has made me look at the world differently! I am now comparing unicycles to lollipops, lollipops to model solar systems, and model solar systems to a game of marbles. What is wrong with me? I am also looking for logical fallacies and Orwellian terms in EVERY SPEECH THAT I LISTEN TO. (the pastor's sermon, the history presentation, Obama's interviews, etc.) I probably re-write things and over-think stuff way more than I used to, too.

I read differently, as well. I pay attention to parallelisms, word choice, and other rhetorical devices more than I used to.

Thoughts on Santa, Religion, and surviving the Relatives...

It's almost Christmas. Almost for most people. I had one of my Christmases this weekend. It lasted from brunch well into the night, and I was totally burned out afterwards. Being an introvert, I lose energy when I am around large groups of people. Don't get me wrong, I love my relatives, but enough is enough. I also celebrated my mom's, grandma's, and mom's-cousin's (does that make him my uncle or my something cousin?) birthdays this weekend. From my recent experiences with I-hardly-ever-see-you-and-to-be-honest-I-don't-know-your-last-names kind of relatives, I have learned a few tips and tricks. 1. Have a generic game, like ping-pong or ice skating ready. 2. If you really don't want to talk to people, or you need a break, suggest watching a movie. 3. Volunteer to help with food. It scores you major points with the moms and it gives you something to do so that you aren't just standing around. 4. Don't shoot a Nerf gun at your brother unless you plan on starting a war.

Also, if you are around younger relatives, be gentle with the Santa topic. I have never believed that Santa existed, but many young'uns do. I find it sad and somewhat heartless that parents will lie to their children. What do they mean to accomplish? Do they do it for their own pleasure, to see their kids being adorably gullible? Do they do it so that their kids will not feel "left out" when they look back? I have never felt like I was missing anything. In fact, when I was younger and more outspoken, I crusaded against Santa. To my mother's horror, I told her best friend's kids that Santa wasn't real. Don't do that. Let the parents tell their kids the truth so that the parents can take all the resulting tantrums.

Santa and religion. Religion and santa. Regardless of what some people think, the two have nothing to do with one another. Christmas is a celebration of Christ's birth, not a commercialized holiday dedicated to shopping and brainwashing little children into believing that a fat guy dressed in red gives them presents. That's so creepy. I am grateful to my family for giving me happy holidays celebrating the arrival of the Savior on Earth. To me, three wise men traveling to Bethlehem is a much more romantic picture than one sleigh pulled through the sky by mutant reindeer. 

nerdy nerd (me)

1. Even though I got over 100% on my last big math test, I made corrections to gain half of a point. The test was 50 points plus extra credit.
2. Ping pong is awesome.
3. I own (and sometimes even use) a unicycle.
4. I knit and crochet.
5. I shop online in the clearance section.
6. I have a blog.
7. I love animated movies and old TV shows.
8. Books are sweet!
9. I am pestering my parents to start a mini-library upstairs.
10. I have a well-stocked pencil pouch.
11. I get out all of my #2 pencils during a scantron test. (usually 5-7 pencils)
12. I get ticked when someone doesn't give my pencil back.
13. The longest I have gone without looking at Skyward is a week.
14. I always bring a lunch from home.
15. I have elbow-sized bandaids in my backpack.
16. I wear glasses sometimes.
17. I take AP classes mostly because I like the students in them.
18. I don't play school sports.
19. I have never been to a football game.
20. I have never sent a text.
21. I hate parties.
22. I avoid social events at all costs.
23. Dodgeball is torture.
24. Fuzzy socks rock.
25. I'm an introvert.
26. I don't have any games on my graphing calculator.
27. Several people have asked me if I am a teacher.
28. I am easily amused. I don't really get bored.
29. I used to have a pet fish. He chased a laser pointer. It was awesome.
30. I like baking cookies.